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Here’s the family checklist you should think about before and immediately after employing a babysitter or child-minder.

Please note – this will NOT cover the steps you should go to when checking out a person before they’re left in sole charge of your children. That is another and more detailed subject.

A practical family checklist for babysitters

Before their first day

Make sure that you:

• clearly identify their duties. Be specific about what you consider to be part of the role and avoid ‘springing surprises’ upon them after they’ve started by way of “oh, while you’re at it, could you also….”;
• listen to their expectations and ‘red lines’ too. For example, some may have very firm views that they’re employed to care for your child and not to do housework. Be flexible and negotiate out, in advance, any potential disconnects between you;
• state your rules for their time in your home. For example, if you don’t want them to go into your own bedroom then that should be made clear. Other common requirements here include no personal visitors, no lengthy personal phone calls (excluding emergencies) and no drink/drugs/smoking;
• confirm specific rules for your child. That might cover mealtimes, nappy checks, games/toys that are prohibited, foodstuffs to be given (and withheld), time limits for PC or TV watching, dressing standards and so on. Be clear about where they can take your child outside of the home and when etc.;
• talk-through potential problem scenarios and what to do should they arise – e.g. if you’re held up and late back or the babysitter has an emergency and needs to leave urgently;
• eliminate ALL ambiguity about pay and provisions. For example, if you’re ever late back, can they just help themselves to any of your food etc.;

These things are always best discussed and agreed upon in advance rather than once your relationship is underway.

On or before the first day

You should:

• introduce your child to the babysitter. Try to make sure you’re present full time for at least their first day and preferably the first 2-3 days. This will help your child to acclimatise to the change with you around;
• pass over all required telephone numbers to the babysitter (doctor, yours, your partner, family members or neighbours locally) together with instructions on when to use them. For example, you may say to call you immediately if your child vomits or develops even a mild fever or logistically that first call might need to go to your partner. Be sure there is no ambiguity about your requirements;
• hand a written copy of any instructions relating to medications your child might already be taking and how to deal with those. Do likewise for prohibited foodstuffs or products if your child suffers from allergies.

At the end of the first week

Find the time to:

• sit down and have a relaxed but thorough review of how things have gone;
• listen to their thoughts about anything that has proven tricky or unclear. If you agree, make sure you resolve the issue quickly;
• be frank about anything that you think hasn’t worked well or which needs tweaking. Don’t hold things back because you’ll need peace of mind going forward. Equally though, try not to nit-pick and start criticising them for very minor issues. People are human and make mistakes, particularly while things are settling down. Do agree though that they will take on board your points going forward;
• assuming your child is old enough and understands and can articulate ‘happy’ and ‘sad’, remember to ask them too if they like the new person looking after them.

A review of this type can then be conducted perhaps every month. It’s just a few minutes but it indicates that you and they take the relationship seriously.