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Here are some top tips to help encourage good behaviour in children.

15 Tips to encourage good behaviour in children

It’s a good idea to:

1. Lead by example. If your children see you smoking, using bad language, getting angry and so on, it will be very likely to be picked up by them as desirable behaviour;
2. Openly share things. Make some very obvious and even unnecessary gestures about sharing things with your partner, older siblings and so on. This will set a very good model for younger children and help avoid possessiveness;
3. Always recognise good behaviour and make that clear. We all perhaps too often focus on ‘achievement’ as a justification for praise and ignore simple good selfless behaviour as also being praiseworthy;
4. Tell the truth (where possible). Children can often detect a lie a mile away – such as in phoney excuses to cancel a planned play with them etc. If you do have to disappoint, be honest with them as to why;
5. Spend time with them and read them moral stories;
6. Avoid punishments unless it is absolutely unavoidable. Showing tolerance and understanding, as well as reason when they’re naughty, will give a much better example than simply removing their sweeties;
7. Clean up after yourself. If you make a mess, clean it quickly and let your children see you doing so;
8. Show interest in what they’re doing – particularly what they’ve done at school or day-care centre;
9. Do not denigrate them or their efforts. Older children might recognise and accept as humour, some leg-pulling. Younger children will take it personally and become hurt and resentful;
10. Sacrifice your time. Don’t play the role of the martyr but let them see that you’re doing things and giving up your time to support them and your partner etc.;
11. Openly acknowledge that you’re to blame, when appropriate. If you become defensive and hostile to questions when something has gone wrong, you can be sure your children will too. This is about showing responsibility;
12. Discuss problems and find shared solutions. This applies to your relationship with your children of course but also show it in your dealings with your partner;
13. Try to avoid ‘rubbishing’ others behind their back. Even if you’re not speaking directly to your children, you can be pretty sure they’ll be listening and picking up pointers as to how they should behave;
14. Spend time equally with all your children. This sounds a ‘no-brainer’ but it can be challenging when you might have a natural affinity for the interests and activities of one and much less so with another;
15. Laugh a lot! Humour is a fantastic way of dealing with some forms of mini-crisis and problem. It’s a good example to set your kids.